What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What’s something you did a lot as a kid that you don’t miss now that you’re an adult?

Do you know what she said mum?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

True - how I loved my mum!

What! how could you do that?

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What do you mean son?

What are the most extreme examples of hypocrisy?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

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So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.